Am I being too nosy... or not nosy enough?

I work from home 2-3 days a week. Earlier this week, I noticed two small children in the yard of the house across the street from us. This house was completed last winter and the 60-something year old couple is having the landscaping done now. So, the yard is still just dirt.

I wondered if the children were their grandkids, perhaps they had family over helping in the yard that day. Later, they weren’t there anymore. This morning around 9:00 am, the kids were back. The girl looked to be about Bug’s age, around 4 or maybe even 3. The boy looked like he might be around 16-18 months.

When I noticed them out the window, they looked bored, just wandering around the dirt yard. As I watched longer, it became apparent that they were the children of one of the two men working in the yard. There were a few toys by his car in the driveway, but neither kid was very interested in them. Then, the little girl talked to the guy, and ran into the garage and started yanking on the door into the house. She couldn’t get in. She turned around and went back to him. He took her back, spanked her bottom hard a few times, jerked her pants off and took her inside. She must have had an accident, and couldn’t hold it while trying to get inside.

By this time, I was screaming inside, unable to tear myself away from watching them. I called the neighbors, wanting to offer to loan some outdoor playthings for the kids to use – a wagon, tricycle, coloring books/stickers - but they didn’t answer and I left a message.

By noon, the little girl had been playing in the dirt with a rake for hours and the little boy was just standing by his (presumably) father and the other guy. They had been out there for 3 hours, and I never saw a snack or drink offered and those two little kids had to just entertain themselves in a dirt yard. Granted, I wasn't watching every single second, but still.

The little guy started crying, and I watched as his dad then picked him up and tenderly rocked him as they sat on a large decorative rock. My heart was breaking and I wanted more than anything to run out there and offer my son’s playroom, Bean’s crib for the little guy – anything to make those kid’s day a little better. But I had talked to Firedaddy on the phone earlier, and he said to leave it alone, that everyone raises their kids differently.

Given that the kids were dressed in what looked like decent clothes (albeit not as warmly as I would dress mine for a brisk October morning, as the little guy had on shorts and the little girl capri’s, and it was a little chilly at 9:00). And given that he did gently rock the little guy that way.... I held back. But I never stopped watching, and even opened the window a little so I could hear too. I started wondering if he would make the little guy take a nap in the back seat of the car. That would have sent me over the edge.

Then, I watched him put the little guy down, and the little guy started wailing. The little girl reappeared from the side of the house with the rake she had. I continued to watch as the father walked toward the other guy. And I thought “If they start shoveling and working again, that’s it – I’m going over there to offer the playroom and crib”.

But he didn’t, he gathered up landscaping tools and carried them toward the car. At that point, my neighbor walked out and toward them. I heard the dad say to my neighbor, “Yeah, we’re leaving, he is just really tired and she…” (I didn’t hear what he said about the little girl).

Really bored, maybe????

I watched as he put the children in the car, each time very gently though, not rough. I was watching very carefully. He didn’t appear to be angry at them. When he spoke to my neighbor, his voice sounded nice. And leaving once the little guy got tired seemed to be something they had planned for, not something that he was upset over. I watched as the other guy loaded tools, and then the dad loaded the toys in the trunk. And then I watched them drive away.

I cannot know the circumstances of why he takes two young children with him to do landscaping work. Maybe his wife is sick. Maybe she works in the mornings and this is their schedule. Maybe the kids normally go to daycare, but the provider is closed this week. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Maybe not. And if not – if those kids go to work with him all the time – what if it is bitter cold outside? What then? It is the not knowing that is eating me up. Maybe it is none of my business, but shouldn't the welfare of innocent children who cannot stand up for themselves be everyone's business? Maybe I am over-reacting. Maybe I didn't react enough. I don't know.

My neighbors haven't called me back. I wish I knew more, because I start imagining all sorts of terrible things, like maybe this is the life those kid’s lead every single day. Boredom, spankings for accidents, no snacks, being out in extreme elements… and I sincerely can’t bear that thought. I know worse things happen, but this something I can SEE happening and IF my worst thoughts were true – I would want to help them somehow (without making things worse for them).

So I will keep watching whenever I am here. And maybe my neighbors will call me back. Surely they would know why their landscaping guy brings his toddler and preschooler to work in the outdoors, and whether it is a normal thing for him to do or not. They seem like good people, I know they are devout Christians – I have to believe they would know if something was amiss. I have to, because this is tearing me up.

What would you do?

UPDATE:

The neighbor lady finally did call back. Firedaddy talked to her, since I was putting Bug to bed. She said to thank me for the sweet offer, and that they went to church with the guys and the kids were his, not their grandkids.

Then, a few nights later, Firedaddy had just left for his trip, and I took Bug and Bean to a local sub shop for dinner. And the same family was there. Which was kind of freaky for me, since I've never seen them before, and here they are, right after I worried so much.

The little boy and Bean actually played chase while we were waiting for our order. The Mom mentioned that her little guy was 2 (he looks younger, because he is much smaller than Bean). The Mom was young, very pretty, and the little girl looked just like her Mom, just beautiful and sweet. She looked like she was definitely 4.

The Dad dressed like one of those tap-dancing hip-hoppers, had multiple piercings in his ears, piercing blue eyes, and dread-locked blonde hair. He seemed nice, the whole family seemed like they cared for one another.

Then, I got up the nerve to say that I recognized the kids from when they worked on our neighbor's yard last week. He thought for a moment, and said Oh, yeah... on XXX Lane. We go to church with the "XXX's". He was really nice, and when they left (we ate there, they took their order to go), both parents said 'bye'.

Anyway, the way he said it was like it wasn't a normal thing for him to take the kids on outings like that, and he WASN't working, he was just helping out fellow parisheners.

I feel SO much better.