Day 2
Just. So. TIRED.
Bean is sick with a cold, and last night ended up in bed with me. There is no rest when that child is in the bed. Bug? He's not a problem. On the rare occasions he ends up in bed with me while Firedaddy is travelling, he will just snooze away and you'd hardly know he is there.
But Bean insists on sleeping wedged up against me all night long. Not to mention that at about 3 am, he fell out of the bed. It didn't upset him in the least, but it freaked me right out. Oh, and starting at around 4 am, a dying battery caused a smoke detector to start beeping every 10-15 minutes or so. Lovely.
Except that later I figured out it wasn't a smoke detector after all, but the carbon monoxide detector that needed a new battery. Whatever the case, it was annoying.
And Mean Mommy? She made a "half appearance" tonight after about the 150th time I asked the boys to stop teasing each other. Not a full appearance, mind you, thankfully I was able to reign her in before the yelling really let loose. But let's just say it took every last little bit of oompf right out of me. I barely managed baths and bedtime books/cuddles... they were done on fumes.
I am going to bed now. And Bean is NOT going to crash with me later on, no matter what. Amen.
And now... another word from our sponsor this week, The Tao of Motherhood:
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Upside-down
If you want to know what to do, learn to look at things upside down. To receive, you must give. Those who boast are insecure. Silence speaks louder than words. The strongest warrior never shows his sword. The soft overcomes the hard.
Here is an exercise: When you feel a hardness come around your heart, go soft and explore the sensations and feelings that arise. Feel what is beneath the anger: thousands of tiny moments of pain, confusion, doubt, fear, self-protection. Accept all this as part of you. Look on yourself with kindness.
Now notice the quality of your heart. How different it is from the hard edge of control that springs from fear.
Peace. Holly. Written on Tuesday, November 29, 2005
5 Comments:
congrats on another day!!
That sounds like a great book... I think it would be good to have around here too!
Small children so often make very poor sleeping companions. I rarely acquiesce to a request to sleep in my bed; it has to be a pretty heart-wrenching display for me to give in. Or a 4 a.m. wakeup session that shows no signs of abating unless the child comes into bed with me.
Hang in there! How many more days till Firedude comes home?
I hope last night went smoother. I know I'm hoping for calm seas tonight at my house, although it's already had a pretty bumpy start.
Great updates! Yes, it's hard to keep Mean Mommy under control all the time, and it sounds like you're doing better than most people would under the circumstances. And isn't it weird how the smoke detector battery always poops out in the middle of the night, so you can lie there and wonder if you should get up and change it, or just yank it off the ceiling and risk ironic, firey death?
Oh, you are doing SUCH a great job! Doing the Mom thing without a spouse to help is hard, hard work. Thanks for sharing the bits from that book, too.
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