Shades of Gray

My opinions are rarely black or white, they are usually some shade of gray. And while most people in today's world consider me “liberal”, I personally consider myself closer to moderate on most everything.

I was taught, and try hard to live by the creed “everything in moderation”. And personally, I’ve always considered moderates to be the fabric of our country, the group who keeps the extreme opinions of the right and of the left in check.

And yet, in today’s politically charged environment, I’ve been accused of not taking a firm stand on anything, of being wishy-washy.

So… since when did moderation become a bad thing?

I mean, yeah, at times I don’t firmly root myself on one side or the other on many issues, but why is this a “bad” thing? Why can't I see things from both perspectives and seek compromise? Why can’t great things come out of compromise, of trying to see things from different perspectives? Why can’t we just live and let live?

For example, the issue of gay marriage. On the one hand, I say why shouldn’t gay couples be able to formally make a lifelong commitment to each other? And before any of my fellow Christians jump my shit, I am referring to civil ceremonies, not forcing churches to perform ceremonies, if they don’t want to. Hell, many churches already turn away heterosexual couples for various reasons, so it would be no different to turn away a gay couple for "sinning"... the same way a church would turn away a straight couple for the "sin" of living together or whatever else, before being married. So let's just take churches out of this discussion.

And while we're at it, take out the lame argument of "What next? Humans marrying animals?" - because I am talking about inter-species marriage only.

So, I wonder... why shouldn’t homosexual couples be given the same marital union rights as heterosexual couples, such as the ability to make medical decisions for each other in the absence of a living will, to be able to visit each other in IC units when only “family” is allowed, to be able to inherit estates in the absence of a formal will, to be able to get spousal benefits?

But on the other hand, I don’t care whether we call this union "marriage" or something else. So see? I DO care that committed couples, no matter what their sexual orientation, be given the same rights. But I DON’T care what terminology is used. I call this a moderate view. But others call it not taking a stand one way or the other.

Or let’s take the war in Iraq. I don’t support it. I think we were mis-lead by our government, and that we should never have started this war (unless we want to be in the business of liberating oppressed countries, in which case Iraq will just be the first of many). And while I understand that we must finish what we started, and that it doesn’t make sense to abandon them now (like the first Bush did), it doesn’t mean I am going to wave my flag and cheer every time the President gives one of his pep rallies. My thinking is just “let’s get it over with, and get out at the earliest chance possible”.

And yes… I do understand that we are helping a nation of oppressed people. And YES, that is a good thing. But let’s be realistic here… there are many more nations just as - if not more - oppressed than Iraq was. A number of them are in the Middle East, and could arguably be as essential to world peace as Iraq is supposed to be. Are we going to go liberate them too? I mean, sure, it is a great notion, especially to a bleeding heart like me… but I am not so blind as to think our government is actually going to do it.

But see… I DO support our troops, regardless of my beliefs and lack of support for the war. Whenever I see a serviceman or woman, whenever I look up in the sky and see military planes or helicopters... my heart overflows with gratitude for what they do for myself, my family, our country. I get a lump in my throat when I think of the sacrifices they make to protect us.

And yet, I have been accused of betraying our troops… simply by being forthright about the fact that I do not support this particular war. My response to that is, wouldn’t that make those of us who oppose this war somewhat like the Germans who opposed the Nazi regime, but never said anything? I KNOW – it is an extreme example. And no, don’t anyone go getting their panties in a bundle, I am not comparing Bush to Hitler. (I didn't vote for him, but I don't think he is evil. I just think he runs with the wrong crowd)

But still. I’m just saying… the fact that many people in our country oppose the war and are not afraid to say so… does not equate to hating the military or to trying to undermine their efforts.

I could go on and on, but that would be boring, I know. I won't do that.

My point is this. Things are very precarious in our country - in the world - right now. We can't seem to agree on anything within the borders of our own country, let alone within the world. Wouldn’t a bit of moderation, a bit of give and take, and a whole lot less “us vs. them” go a long way right now? You know... giving up a little for the benefit of the greater good?