Life as a Virgo

Many people commented after my last post (thirteen ways I am a freak....) confirming that either
1) they have a few of the same habits as me (whew)
and/or
2) I am indeed a freak (thanks a lot people!)

I even had a few comments about perhaps being OCD, and rightfully so. Seriously...I know they were made in jest, but the truth is, I DO tend toward being obsessive, a perfectionist, even somewhat controlling. As one of my blogging friends pointed out in a (very kind) email, I am the epitomy of a Virgo.

I should say, to set the record straight, that while I may be a neatnik...an 'everything in it's right place' kind of person... a clean freak I am not. I can live with dust, unshining sinks and the like - as long as it is pretty much sanitary I have a high threshhold for dirt. I figure having a super clean house is impossible with kids and pets anyway.

Firedaddy, on the other, likes things clean. So subsequently, he does the lion's share of housework, he just tends not to do bathrooms. And as far as everything in it's right place... well, I've resigned myself to the fact that it is only that way at night after the kids are in bed. And then in the morning , it is all messy again. Sigh. But hey - I'd rather have the mess than not, because it is made by people I love.

I try to remember that my tendency toward perfection is a fault of mine. And I try hard not to let it get out of hand.

The truth is, even though I poked fun at them, I DO recognize my list of 13 (and a few other things) as faults. I don't want to be that person that nobody wants to be around because they are overly tidy, overly critical of others, and hover over everything you do, trying to control everything and everyone around them.

Thankfully, I have people who love me who try to keep me mostly balanced. My Mom for one. She worked as a psych nurse for many years, so she points out from time to time when I get overly OCD or controlling... My Mother-in-law does the same every once in awhile, just not so much in psych terms. And my husband, well he has a quiet way of setting me straight, without much of a fuss. But I get the message, nonetheless.

My eldest son, Bug, is also a Virgo. So... not only is it important that I keep my obsessive tendencies in check to be a good Mom and person ~ it is also important that I not model these over them to him, as a Virgo he is going to tend toward obsessiveness anyway... he doesn't need me to show him the way by going overboard.

I have many little quotes taped up around my house and my work office - on the refrigerator, on the bathroom mirror, on the laptop computer, at work on my cubicle walls. Things to remind me of what is truly important - people I love, living each day to its fullest, being a kind person.

But the one I relate to the most, really applies here. I posted it on my blog once awhile back. I got it from the Ben & Birdy journal, where Catherine quoted it from a book called "The Parent's Tae Te Ching: Ancient Advice for Modern Parents". And while this quote is about being a parent, I try to apply it to everything I do.

Thanks again everyone for your kind, jestful, and supportive comments! Delving into this sort of thing once in awhile is good for the soul.
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Good Behavior

"There are many ways to get children
to behave as you wish.
You can force, plead, and bribe.
You can manipulate, trick, and persuade.
You can use shame, guilt, and reason.
These will all rebound upon you.
You will be in constant conflict.

Attend instead to your own actions.
Develop contentment within yourself.
Find peace and love in all you do.
This will keep you busy enough.
There is no need to control others.

If you are able to release even some small part
of your persistent need to control,
you will discover an amazing paradox.
The things you attempted to force
now begin to occur naturally.
People around you begin to change.
Your children find appropriate behavior
emerging from within themselves
and are delighted.
Laughter returns to all."