Bringing up boys
Yesterday I taught preschool sunday school at church, and there were two 4 year old little boys that were friends, who played rambunctiously the entire time. As they were leaving, and saying goodbye to one another, I heard one of their moms say “No kissing! Boys can’t kiss each other!” And my heart sank, right there on the spot.
I hoped my own 4 year old didn’t hear it, because I cannot imagine what is so wrong with two 4 year olds showing affection for each other. I mean, for the love of God – they are FOUR YEARS old! If it had been a boy and a girl, the moms probably would have just laughed and thought it was cute. So… why the fear of sexual implications at such an early age? Can’t there be simple affection without having to confuse kids with adult’s own phobias?
Just a few weeks ago, a male family member (who shall remain unnamed, but it was not FD) questioned why there is a huge (pink) dollhouse in the boy’s playroom. The simple and honest answer is that it is because they love it. They play make believe with it. And what is wrong with that? They put the family to bed, they put them on the porch, they put them in the little blue matching car to go places. They are mimicking what we do as a family, and enjoying endless imaginative play. They love it. They also love trains, trucks, and dinosaurs.
Maybe he was joking, maybe he wasn’t, it wasn't obvious if he was. Either way, I didn’t pursue it in the interest of continuing with a nice evening, but obviously it bothered me.
So, last week Bug was looking through the party supplies catalog that he found in the mail, telling me all about which themes he liked the best, and trying to decide what kind of theme he wanted for his 5th birthday party in September.
In the end, he settled on “Pink Poodle in Paris”. And you know what? Unless he changes his mind all on his own between now and then, that is exactly what he will get.
I think all the kids will love it, don’t you?
Peace. Holly. Written on Monday, June 26, 2006
16 Comments:
Works for me, Holly! Dyl carries a purple Dora the Explorer backpack, watches the show religiously, and runs for the Dora toys in the store. How do we expect them to know anything about females if they can't even play with the same toys?
As for the kissing, Dyl still gives his brothers sugar, and his brothers (when the eldest isn't mad at me)still kiss us all, including dad. I find nothing wrong with it. Whoever said that at church needs an attitude adjustment!
This is so cool to read as it takes me back to when we kids played outdoors a lot and actually used our imaginations. I like to think my buddies were ahead of our time, because we lety girls play soldiers with us!!! lol!
You know what - they're kids.. and they don't know all the ridiculous crap our society thinks because of this or that. And I say the longer that innocence remains intact.. the better!
Pink Poodle in Paris - wock on!!
I think your attitude is great. One time, McDonald's gave my son a "My Little Pony" prize, which came with a little hairbrush (for the mane). The kiddo loved it -- his dad, not so much. Whatever. That comment you overheard about boys not being allowed to kiss each other just makes me sad.
Oh we had a Pink Poodle in Paris party and it was great. The boys loved it, too. You go, Holly.
As always, I agree. You need to say something that I think is ridiculous sometime.
You know I'm all for it.
I think its mainly an issue of men. I agree with you and don't have a problem with it, but my husband wouldn't go it either. I especially don't see a problem with it when they are 3,4 & 5 year olds. Its too bad that the world has come to these kind of situations.
I think everyone will enjoy the poodle theme.
I witnessed a Mom telling her 5-year old son that boys don't need to hug each other (the boy wanted to hug my son goodbye) -- this was a visiting friend of a neighbor. I assumed it was a cultural thing. My heart sank hearing that too! Her son was a total sweetheart. I hope that is not squelched.
Playhouses are for any/all kids. It's all about using your imagination -- I agree!!
I wish people could get over themselves every once in a while. When my son sees his best friend from preschool, he runs right up and gives him a hug. It's his first instinct, and I'd never dream of discouraging it.
Isaac loves playing with dolls. ANd he loves sweeping and gardening and cooking and all the things he sees me and his father doing. My father-in-law is always trying to discourage him from playing with dolls, which drives me crazy, because I agree with you! (As always!)
Oh, Raehan, the first thing I thought of when Bug told me he wanted Pink Poodle in Paris... was of Rachel's recent 5 year birthday party with the same theme. And then, I thought, well I guess it must be all the rage with the newly turned 5 year olds!
And everyone else... you make me feel way better. There are many voices of reason out there. I love you guys.
Mayberry/Delane, I am thinking hard about how I could stir up controversy with you. Got nothin' yet, but haven't given up.
Very well said; I couldn't agree more. Great blog!
glad I stopped by to see if you were up and running...I've missed you. My son is 10 and I can often find him slinging an arm over a buddy's shoulders - it's so precious to me because I know this might be the last year it is acceptable in his peers. My fav picture is of him and his best bud when they were in 2nd grade. Son was laying on the couch and his buddy was sitting next to him 'petting' his hair...
I so know what you mean about the "adult phobia's"
My son is 5, he's a very affectionate child. He cuddles up with me and his dad and his sister at least 100 times a day. At school he's been spotted putting his arm around his friend (girls) and even cuddled with his friend on the bus. Rubbed her back with his hand. A few other parents saw this, and immediatley named him "casanova" Bugs me a little and I found myself trying to explain to him that cuddling is good, but not with certain people. It was tough, since I know he's only 5 and totally doesn't see anything odd about it.
Well said, couldn't agree more :)
ps - I love that Pink Poodle party stuff too! Good for you for letting Bug do his own thing.
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